As a gymnastics club owner I am constantly interacting with our Flair club families and watching parents interact with their children. Have you inherited any bad parenting habits from your parents and if so how can you break the cycle?..
One of the most common behaviours that I come across is meeting parents who are much more competitive than their children. The parents who get embarrassed when their child doesn’t win a medal or even worse, angry with them for not trying harder. Why are they acting like this? Is it because they themselves were put under a lot of pressure from their parents to over achieve? I think that’s more than likely. I understand that they are only trying to help their child to reach their full potential but there’s a fine line between being encouraging and being a pushy parent.
You may not even realise that you are behaving in a pushy way. Here’s the good news, you don’t have to behave like your parents.
Here’s my 4 top tips for ‘breaking the cycle’ at your child’s sports club.
YOUR CHILD’S COACH KNOWS BEST
- Don’t interfere with the coach
Be the parent, not the coach. Your child’s coach knows best and knows exactly how much to expect from your child and what they are capable of achieving. Stay calm and enjoy watching your child as they learn without constantly instructing your child from the sidelines!
SHOW YOUR CHILD YOUR SUPPORT
- Be supportive
Get involved with your child’s sporting journey by asking questions that show you are interested and make sure that you actively listen to what your child tells you. Be encouraging by watching your child practise at home and at competitions.
PRAISE YOUR CHILD’S EFFORTS
- Don’t compare your child with others
Your child is being the best that they can be and their progress should always be praised. Always praise the effort, not the result. So don’t just praise your child if they win a medal but praise the effort by saying “I’m proud of you for being the best that you can be today.” Perhaps things didn’t go quite as well as they expected them to. If so, it’s ok, it’s time to learn from failure. Show your child love, no matter how they perform. Be there to give your child a hug instead of trying to fix things with words.
BE THEIR INSPIRATION!
- Be a role model
Be aware and mindful as to how you talk to your child. You’re their biggest inspiration and they are paying attention to everything you say and do. If you are enthusiastic and positive about your child’s club and the progress they are making then your child is far more likely to feel the same way and give their chosen sport their best shot.
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See you soon!